THE Cub Report- 03.29.2015, Version- Things The Wifey Hates…
Lets face it, most bashers are men, and while a wife or girlfriend is a neccessity in life, a good one can be hard to find. Specifically by “good one” I mean one that puts up with her man being an rc hobbyist.
My wife absolutely hates it when I bake tires off the rim in our oven. Actually, I don’t do that one anymore because I don’t like my lasagna tasting like burnt rubber either.
Wayyyy back in the day she also hated it when I used one of her pots to RIT dye some parts. Thankfully I don’t do that one either now days, parts come in pretty much every color I could ever want them in.
What the wifey hates the very most is receipts. You know what I’m talking about, the miscellaneous receipt for a new Futaba 4PX, the one for $200 worth of race tires that are gonna be shot by the end of the weekend, and that receipt for $120 worth of shiny new tools that I will never have time to use.
And a word to the wise here, never, EVER use your wive’s car to go to the track with. The best case scenario is that you only track a little mud on to a floormat. The worst case is that it gets completely covered with dirt, and that half gallon of nitro you had left over spills all over her trunk. I can tell you from first hand experience that wives HATE it when that “new car smell” gets replaced with 30% O’Donnell Racing Fuel.
Btw, never tell your wife you are “Going bashing for a couple of hours!!!”, because lets be real here, it NEVER turns out to be two hours. I have never spent less than 4 hours out bashing, usually I am there for closer to 10-12.
Know what else my wife really hates? When I true foam tires in the house. Sure, you can lay down all sorts of newspaper or cardboard, but inevitably you will find a fine layer of foam dust in the room you did it in (and then find it tracked all over the house an hour later).
For some strange reason my wife hates it when I spend time with spokesmodels. It is part of my job, it’s all about the marketing ya know? Sure, they might be 20 years younger than her, sure they might have 2 million followers on Twitter because of all the hot half-naked pics they’ve posted, but lets face it, I would never leave my wife for one of them (because they would never put up with my rc habit!!!).
Ever get ready for race day (or bash day) and decide to clean your tires in the kitchen sink? Yup, that’s a seriously bad call too. No matter how clean you try to be you always end up getting some mud splattered 10 feet away from the sink, which the wife always finds the next day and decides to read you the riot act.
Also, you would think that if you painted that hot new Pro-Line body outside that bringing it indoors to dry wouldn’t torque off the wife too much, righttttt? Ya well, polycarbonate paint seems to go right through walls making your entire house small like “metallic black” in a matter of minutes. Strangely, paint fumes seem to always give my wife a headache for days after the smell has dissipated.
My wife also really hates it when she can’t get her car door open in the garage because of all the rc boxes. That new Axial Yeti XL box takes up some space, so does the Yeti XL buggy itself (which of course is stacked on an MT4 G3, which is on top of a E-Revo, which are all sitting on a HPI Baja 5B).
So, to make her a happy wife, I clean up the garage. The wife gets to liking me again after she gets home from the grocery store and all the rc gear has been cleaned out of the garage. She hops right out of her car with plenty of room to swing her car door wide. Unfortunately….. I am Cubby after all, and her smile gets turned upside down pretty damn fast when she finds out that all the gear has been moved into my new “RC Cave” (which used to be her sewing room). Such is life with hardcore hobbyists, and thankfully there are some good women out there that put up with it.
That’s it for this week, quit torque’n off your wives and support your local bash spots and hobby shops when ya can. Don’t forget to GO VOTE March Bashness 2015 bracket one ends tonight!
YOUR Cub Reporter