For Bashers, By Bashers!

THE Cub Reporter- 04.23.2012- Version- Setting An All Time Low

Cubby Hello friends, fans and haters, you have successfully made it to yet another cream filled edition of THE Cub Report, congrats!

Just a few months ago I was outside my house blasting down the street and bust’n some big flips with my Losi 8ight-E. You see it was X-mas break and the weather was unseasonably warm for the Midwest, it was an absolutely perfect bash day- 65 degrees (to help keep motor and speedo temps down), sunny, and all the family was inside the house watching football after a huge meal (staying the heck out of my way). Life was going great until…

My brother in law decided to join me outside and “see what I was up to”.

Let me tell you a little something about my brother in law. His name is Gale and he’s one of those douchebag uppity Princeton types. His Facebook feed is constantly filled with updates like- “Just completed another 10K run in record time, another 50 miles on the bike and I am done for the day!”, and “My son just skipped two more grades in school!”, and “Sucks driving my old 911 (2007) while my Cayenne is in the shop!”, and “Cured cancer this morning, going to work on world hunger this afternoon!”. Ya, you know the type, there is one in every family. On the outside (and on their Facebook feed) their life is so perfect, all the while you know damn well they are a paycheck (or one bad trip to Vegas) away from total ruin. Oh and… he competed in SCCA events (in one of his Dad’s Porsche’s) for two years during his Princeton days, therefore he knows “Everything there is to know” about 4 wheeled racing. Anyways…

So out of the house stumbles Gale to see what I was up, he must have been 8 deep into the eggnog, so here’s the gist of our convo…

Gale- “Hey there Cubby, what are you doing, playing with your toy cars again?”

Cubby- “Absolutely Gale, I am having a great time. Last night I downloaded some new software into the speedo then I made a few other changes. I upped the timing a bit, and added another tooth to the pinion so I am giving her a test drive to see how she runs.”

Gale- “Oh really? I just had a Titanium Akrapovic installed on the Cayenne last week, it cost 7 grand. So… just how fast is your toy car?”

Cubby- “You mean the Losi buggy I am driving? With the boosted timing I’m guessing I have it geared right around 40 mph, that should be way more than enough top speed for my local outdoor track.”

Gale- “Only 40 mph? My modded out Segway goes faster than that. Hell I bought my son an rc car from Radio Shack that will blow yours away!”

Cubby- “Yes Gale, I realize some of us can’t afford the good stuff from Radio Shack, we have to suffer with running our Losi 8ight-E’s on lowly 4S Lipo batteries and Castle 2200 kv Monster systems. Hey Gale, I know we haven’t gotten that much bonding time since you married into the family, maybe you’d like to hit an rc race with me one of these days and we can spend some quality time together? I know you were a big time SCCA racer and all back in the day, you’d probably kill everybody at the rc track on your first trip!”

Gale- “I don’t know Cubby, I think I’d need something far faster than what you are driving for it to be any sort of fun for me.”

Cubby- “Tell ya what, I’ll hook you up with my Losi, and to give it a little more zip out of the corners I’ll put in a 6S Lipo, a higher kv motor, and I’ll gear it for 60 mph just for you. Now I know that isn’t fast by your standards, but that should be geared taller than anybody else at the track. What do ya say buddy?”

Gale- “Just as long as you give me a car fast enough to win I’ll show all you guys what real racing is all about.”

Cubby- “Sounds good, I will totally hook ya up, I can’t wait to see you crush the local fast guys!”

Well guys, finally, after months of waiting, both of our schedules finally opened up and I was able to treat Gale to his very first experience in rc racing last weekend. Gale had never driven a “hobby grade” rc car before, let alone raced one, and to top it off, he arrived late to the track totally missing practice. Here’s how our convo went after the main was over…

Cubby- “Gale, did you know you set a world record today? I’ve never seen anyone crash that many times in one day. Are you blind or did you simply skip the line when God was passing out eye/hand coordination? You drive an rc car like s&!t.”

Gale- “SHUT UP CUBBY! Your buggy was horrible! The tires were horrible, they never got any grip, and your transmitter was always steering the wrong way! Your buggy was impossible to drive!”

Cubby- “The tires are the best money can buy and give loads of grip, but it’s hard for them to get any traction when they are never touching the ground. My transmitter is the best money can buy too and it works flawlessly, most of the guys were using one just like it at the track today and you didn’t see them turning left on the tight right hander at the end of the main straight did ya? Btw, nice hole you blew in the snow fence at the end of the main straight, I’ve never seen that done before. But I thought even more impressive was after they marshalled you and you started driving backwards on the main straight. I’m surprised the leader didn’t throw you off the drivers stand after breaking his buggy in half when you hit him head on.”

Gale- “SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP CUBBY! I was driving just FINE. Your buggy sucked, the track sucked, playing with toy cars SUCKS.”

Cubby- “That’s funny Gale because all I heard all day long from the other drivers was how bad your driving sucked. Congrats, you qualified dead last and you finished dead last in the main by 8 laps. Your time in the main would have put you dead last in the kids class. Btw, you destroyed my buggy in the main when you hit the drivers stand full speed, you owe me a new one.”

Gale- “Chump change, how much do I owe ya? Fifty? A hundred bucks tops?”

Cubby- “I’m not sure how much, but don’t worry I’ll total things up and send ya a bill in the mail. It can’t be that much right? It’s just a pissant toy car right?”

That’s it for this week guys, support your local hobby shops, bash spots and tracks!

YOUR Cub Reporter

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Posted by in cubby on Monday, April 23rd, 2012 at 8:32 am